In the past few weeks, I’ve had several bizarre experiences:
1. I wore a dress that hit above my knees for the first time in over a decade! In public! (I did, however, wear bike shorts underneath, because you can never be too protected from wardrobe malfunctions when you’re chasing a toddler.)
2. The same dress? showed my arms. Whoa. And I didn’t spend the whole time worrying about how I looked in it.
3. In the past few months, I have taken a million pictures of me with my son, and I only hate 3 of them (because they’re blurry – not because I don’t like how I look.) In fact, I like taking photographs now, because I finally feel comfortable with how I look.
4. 30 minutes on the bike isn’t a “workout” anymore – it’s just something to do at the end of the day because it makes me super happy and I feel sooo much better after it.
5. I am having trouble finding clothes that fit because I’m too *small.* (This is the CRAZIEST EXPERIENCE EVER.)
6. Someone told me I was “dainty.” Hahahahaha but seriously, it was kind of cool.
7. I don’t get super sweaty on moderately warm days anymore. I used to sweat buckets – it was kind of outrageous.
8. I no longer get heat rash on my inner thighs. I no longer have a diabetic rash on my underarms or neck.
9. I sat on a table the other day without fear of breaking it.
10. I have been “window shopping” at various online boutiques to buy a strapless summer dress. The last time I wore anything strapless was… ten? years ago, at my high school prom.
11. My toddler saw a picture of me from when I was 240 pounds and didn’t recognize me in it. He started yelling, “dada! dada!” — which is funny, because my husband is not a large person!
I still struggle with buying clothes in the right size. When I first go into a store, I tend to immediately go to the XL racks… it’s strange. And I still struggle with seeing myself as a larger individual. This is particularly odd in light of the fact that – when I was much larger – I used to always expect to be smaller in the mirror and in photos. And now that I am smaller, I can’t get used to seeing that.
And now for some interesting news…
Part of life after obesity is the harsh reality that my skin has stretched out a little bit. While it’s not terrible and certainly not anything like some of the loose skin photos I’ve seen on the internet, I’m not a huge fan of my lower abdomen. I always thought a tummy tuck would involve way too much recovery time and would be far too expensive for us. And at this point, I have a 25 inch waist. The loose skin doesn’t make a difference for my clothing size and I look just fine if it’s covered up.
A friend told me today about a procedure called a “mini tummy tuck,” where the surgeon only removes loose skin from below the navel. It’s much less expensive, and involves a very short recovery time.
So I emailed my husband and asked him what he thought… and he said to go ahead and set up some consultations.
This could actually happen!